My terrible first line

I've had an extremely unproductive summer and I'll admit I did absolutely nothing worthwhile with my time but hey, I'm back home and here nobody expects me to put myself to any good use when I'm off for vacations.Since I wouldn't want to break my lazy spell by actually writing something, here's a list of the funniest first lines ever written that made my morning! 33 Of The Most Hilariously Terrible First Sentences In Literature History

I'm also down with a terrible flu but this made me feel SO much better! Its just Horrilarious! (a term used to define something which is equal parts horrifying and hilarious). Thank me later for giving you a new word. 

This list actually inspired me to write something myself.  Here's my attempt at a terrible first line: 

As she lay in a pool of crumpled tissues each one lined with snot, she looked up to her computer screen, the blank whiteness tingled her senses like nose hair right before a sneeze and in that sudden moment of epiphany, she knew. Her writing the greatest novel was as inevitable as a colony of bacteria on a beef steak at room temperature! 

How do you like me now!? 

P.S. Please ignore me. It's the meds talking. 

Going back to a 'Witchful' past!

Surfing on the internet I came across an article listing the best children's books. Unsurprisingly, Roald Dahl's titles were a staple feature on the list. I think almost everyone has memories from Dahl's books- and his fascinating world of magic!

I suddenly realized how bored I had become of the thriller, horror and drama genres I had been devouring lately and how desperately I craved to live in a lighter, happier imaginary world. Hence, I began reading Roald Dahl's award winning book 'The Witches'. The first time I had begun reading this book was 7 years ago in my school's library, a grim room in the basement with a poor collection. Well, it had this gem so I shouldn't be complaining.

I remember how  the description of these ghastly witches brightened my eyes with fascination. Their image was still etched in my mind. Bald, huge nostrils, claw-shaped hand and square toes!!

Somewhere while reading, it hit me that I had never finished the book. I had only read the first three chapters and then left it incomplete. And for this tragedy, I blame my school's No-book issuance policy. :)

Anyway, during the course of the book, Dahl's imagination never ceased to amaze me. It takes massive talent to write books for children. Simmering complex ideas and  horrifying stories into amusing, fictionalized anecdotes is no easy feat.

I seldom laugh out loud while reading but this book made me do that with every turn of the page. The never ending Mouse-Witch chase, the disgusting witch rituals and the surprising reality of it all enthralled me to bits. A must-read for those who have been plagued by the intellectual-book-syndrome and those who want to renew their love for simple light reading.

Oh, and the best dialogue in the book comes at the end. ‘It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like as long as somebody loves you.’ 

And just so you know, these words were said by a mouse. 

Happy reading! 

Review: Tender Hooks by Moni Mohsin

Two years back, I got hooked onto books about the Middle East. Most books I read such as Khaled Hosseini's, Mohsin Hameed's and Daniyal Mueenuddin's dealt with intense issues. Soon I began to wonder if heavy and depressing stories were all that the South Asian Writers had to offer. That perception changed when I read a review of Moni Mohsin's much talked about book, Tender hooks.


Clutching a copy of the book when I walked out of the book store, I knew I was in for something funny, bone-tickling and most importantly, lighthearted. After classic reads such as The Beautiful and the Damned and The picture of Dorian Gray, I was in need of some major comic relief. And that I got!


The story has been set in present day Lahore, with the ever-increasing problems of the country mentioned in random headline on top of each chapter. The narrator, a social butterfly from a 'khata peeta bagground' not a 'bhooka nanga' one with a rich husband who is more like a 'zinda lash' and a fifteen year old son Kulchoo, comes across as a shallow woman, obsessed with her status. Her group of affluent friends, 'kittys', GTs (Get togethers), dinners and parties are all a staple feature of her lifestyle.


The language of the book is very different as it doesn't conform to traditional English which is justified as it is better able to portray the life of an elitist society. The book is a hilarious take on the rich and the famous of Pakistan who live in their own bubble, very much aware of their surrounding but unfazed nevertheless.


It was sheer joy to read the book, made me laugh out loud a couple of times and satisfied me with a happy ending.